Monday, November 3, 2008

"No, I mentioned the bisque"

Uh, when a guy claims to be "the last of a dying breed," don't believe it. In his profile he preached on and on about how he knows how to treat a woman, his high morals and how he was raised right with old school values etc, etc.

First of all he was late. I sat outside of a cute little Italian restaurant in the North End for 20 min. When he finally did arrive the waiter took us to our table, looked at him and said "she waited a long time." I loved it!

He seemed a little nervous and right away ordered a bottle of wine. This of course was just fine with me, as I'm an avid drinker myself. However, I've never seen someone drink a glass of wine like a shot of tequila on cinco de mayo. Before our food even hit the table we were on bottle number 2. Maybe he figured that I now knew he was not the 5'11" he claimed to be, more like 5'8". Or maybe he wanted to loosen up before telling me that he lives with his parents. Either way I couldn't figure out why he kept speaking in such a hushed tone. Did he think we were in a scene from the Godfather? Were the heads of the 5 families behind us?

At one point we were discussing live music. He mentioned a great place we could go to after. I did't want to commit to anything so I just kind of said "um, maybe." His reply, "well I'm going anyway, you can come if you want." A true gentleman.

The restaurant was really good though. We had calamari with roasted peppers. My dish was this fabulous chicken with artichokes and mushrooms in a white wine sauce. I don't really care what he ate.

When we were through the waiter brought us a couple complementary shots of Sambuca. His went down like a $5 hooker. I couldn't finish mine. Don't think it went to waste though, he polished it off within seconds. That must have been him showing me his softer side.

He did hand his credit card over immediately once the check arrived, not that I had any intention of reaching for my wallet.

I was liquored up enough by the time we left to walk over to this live music spot he mentioned. After a couple drinks I was over it and loaded enough to tell him so. He acted shocked and wanted to know when I realized we weren't a fit. "Right away." I got in a cab and took myself home.

47 comments:

Jennie said...

Oh my - you are hilarious, mamacita. Sounds like a phenomenal date. At least the food and drink were more memorable than the guy. :) Love and miss you!

DOC said...

Sounds like some deadbeat guy who hangs out at Biddys! haha. You should send him a link to your blog

Mari said...

Who is this idiot and why didnt the waiter take you out? I love it....RIGHT AWAY! HAHAHAHAHA

HeatherHaze said...

let's hope he really is the last of a dying breed, hahahah! the best is when they don't have a clue that there's no chemistry or chance in hell!
love u, very funny stuff Amby

Rudy said...

Thanks for blowin my cover hun. I'm sorry I was late. I'm sorry I said I was 5' 11". I feel that tall. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So when we going out again? I'll be on time and taller. :)

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Kim said...

I love that the waiter said, "She waited along time..." that's awesome... and when he asked when you knew it was a no go... so funny...love that you just said it like it is...and went home.

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