Thursday, October 30, 2008

On Line Dating

What's with all the scenic pictures people? Apparently everyone on these sites has been to London or Egypt. We get it, you're well traveled. Great. Now show me some close up pictures so I know what you look like. Not these shots where its you and a bunch of friends at some type of sporting event and I can't even tell which one is you. And please stop putting up photos of your pets. If I wanted to rescue an animal I'd head to the pound. If you think you're winning me over with your cute little dog you're wrong. I'm still picking hairs out of my coat from a date I went on over a year ago.

While we're at it why not be honest about everything. Do you really spend your weekends at a Museum? Really? Because in one of your pictures it looks like you're doing a keg stand. That is you, right, upside down with your mouth around the nozzle. Yeah, I thought so. Way to show off your fun side. Just what I'm looking for, some overgrown frat boy who ponders modern art on the weekends.

Now for all you sensitive types. Yes a girl wants a nice guy, someone she can count on, yada yada yada. But please, save something for later. You're practically proposing on the site. To be honest I think you might become quite a stalker if things didn't work out. More than that, you sound like a pussy. Get a back bone. Have a little confidence. No girl wants some sappy guy that apparently want to be "my prince."

That said, I'm back on the sites anyway. I'll keep you posted on the outcomes of the dates.

5 comments:

Kristy said...

as a friend once put it so eloquently "yes, I want a guy who will take me on for picnic at the park, but I also want him to do me in the bushes afterwards..."

Popeye said...

Thats pretty funny Amber, I was laughing my ass off, especially about the keg stands and the part about them posting stupid pictures of their fucking pets!

luka said...

MAMA!! you are so right about these guys on these dating sites..one guy asked me what the rest of my figure looked like and I told him I was a fat cow pig, had a lot of stretch marks, back fat, and lots of rolls, but I gave great head, however, he would never find that out cuz he asked me that lame stupid question!!! love you!!!

Aaron said...

Great observation Amber D, and good luck on the dating scene. Watch out for those charming guys that want to meet you at a bar and then after 3 drinks ask you to go back to their jacuzzi.
Itchy coat

Kim said...

I love the way you write... Popeye's right...I could totally picture him doing a Keg Stand...what a frat boy! Museums on the weekend...my ass!!! I can't imagine online dating... and the bs...that people post. I just don't get it... why lie?..The truth is going to be revealed. Why start it off on the wrong foot...it's so counterproductive...these are adults right?